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作为4个孩子的父亲，我当然见识过手足相争。感恩的是，到目前为止，我的孩子们只是为了小孩儿之间的小误会而挣扎，他们还是彼此相爱的。但作为一个牧师，我知道对很多人来说，家庭矛盾是他们的压力和很深痛苦的来源。

圣经描写雅各和以扫的相争在出生之前就开始了。雅各出生的时候“手抓住以扫的脚跟”。他的名字本身就说明他有抓住哥哥脚跟的倾向。

但我们会看到，雅各和以扫的关系也反映了他和神之间的挣扎。尽管雅各可能认为，他最大的挣扎是和哥哥的关系，但他终将认识到，他是何等地“紧紧抓住”他认为会带给他好处的东西。雅各很长时间都在追逐神的喜悦，而不是简单地接受神的怜悯和祝福。

我们可以从雅各的故事学到很多。即使家庭关系健康，我们发现自己仍是被生活的困难推着走。我们倾向于“紧紧抓住”那些我们相信会使我们充实的东西。

正因为如此，我们需要像利百加一样问：“我为什么如此呢？”我们需要聆听神的邀请，看见祂的工作，让祂改变我们的心，在基督里接受祂怜悯的礼物。

As a parent of four children, I see my share of sibling rivalry. Thankfully, my children's struggles so far have been minor misunderstandings between kids who mostly love each other. But, as a pastor, I know that family conflict is a source of stress and deep pain for many people.

The Bible portrays Jacob and Esau's rivalry as starting even before birth. Jacob was born "grasping Esau's heel." His very name describes his tendency to nip at the heels of his brother.

But as we will see, Jacob's relationship with Esau reflects his struggle with God as well. Though he might think his biggest struggle is with his brother, Jacob will eventually learn how much he "grasps at the heels" of whatever he thinks will bring him some advantage. Jacob spends a lot of time chasing God's favor rather than simply receiving God's mercy and blessing.

We have much to learn from Jacob. Even when family relationships are healthy, we find ourselves jostled by the struggles of life. We tend to "grasp at the heels" of whatever we believe will fulfill us.

For this reason we need to ask Rebekah's question: "Why is this happening ?" And we need to listen for God's invitation to see him at work, changing our hearts to receive his gift of mercy in Christ.